In His Time

My heart is overloaded...weighted down with saddness. Trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy. A dear friend of ours lost their teenage daughter today. She was a Senior in high school. I could go on and on about Amanda. Laughter, she was always laughing. Not just the occasional belly laugh, or a sporadic giggle...she laughed all the time...and her smile was always on her face. It took up most of her face.

I remember the first time she came to my house with her older sister to babysit. I think she was 8 or 9. She was so excited to be helping her big sister on a babysitting job. She would come every so often. Always smiling. Playing with the children. At church I would see her either with her sisters or friends, always smiling and friendly to everyone. She just loved life.

When Nathan was born he had seizures and was transported to Chicago. We had three other children at home, and was desperately searching for someone to watch them so we could both be with our new baby. Amanda and her older sister Allison came to our house, and stayed overnight for a few days watching our children. Allison was in high school, Amanda was in Junior High. We made it back to town one evening around dinner to check on the other boys. When we walked in, Amanda was washing clothes, and Allison was washing dishes. The house was clean, the boys were happy. They are just caring and giving people.

So many memories. I remember always seeing her with her Dad, walking many times with her arm entwined in his. Smiling. How his arm will ache for her to hold it one more time.

The only comfort I find is through tears of grief...and in knowing that God has a time for us. A time to be born, and a time to die. It is already written down in heaven...our time, her time. As it is appointed unto a man to die...so it was appointed unto her to die. It was in His time....not ours.