Iced tea

Today was a busy day once again. I decided to shampoo all of the carpets. With the boys constantly running in and out during the summer, it seems many things get tracked in. Mostly pond scum from their exploring expeditions. I love that they are in a place where they CAN explore and find things...it's so good for boys to have this. We've seen many frogs... even huge bull frogs...that I would not want to meet up with in the middle of the night. They've found many turtles too, crossing the road to go to the pond. Once we even saw baby mallard ducks, crossing the road quietly with their mother. I wondered, "How does she keep them all quiet?" Needless to say, the carpet has been needing a good shampooing....although I just did it in April.

So for the good part of the afternoon, I shampooed the carpets. I go very slowly, and often times will go over a "well used" section over and over again. By nap time, I was tired, and the carpets were done, the house was clean...it's a good feeling.

At dinner, we had a chili-mac casserole with mixed veggies on the side along with freshly made iced tea. As is our custom...everyone gets a small drink with their food, and any refills they may have only after eating all of their food. I told the boys, "Please be careful with the tea, Mommy just finished cleaning all of the carpet." I should've known.

Joey, finished his first cup of tea, and decided he was going to get another drink. He didn't ask, and I didn't see him. I never let them pour their own drinks if the pitcher is full...only if it is under half-way full. You can guess what happened.

Tea...all over the table, dripping through the cracks, off of everyones chair...all around the table. I was just stunned. I sat their thinking through all of the work I had just done this afternoon. Moving the table back and forth to get it thoroughly cleaned underneath. I thought of my just saying, "Please be careful with the tea." I thought of how we never let them get a second drink until their food is gone. I wondered why...why would he even try to get another drink...from a FULL pitcher none the less. I scolded him out of complete frustration. I have been teaching them a lot lately about doing right. He knew it was wrong to get more tea...and did it anyways, and created a mess.

Joey and I both moved the table after dinner. He moved all of the chairs, and he picked up anything that was under the table for dinner. We cleaned the carpet AGAIN. Then we both moved the table back, and he moved all the chairs back. He helped clean the mess he made.

Sometimes I wonder...am I being too hard....am I being too easy? Certain things we have set rules about...but life happens, and those things don't always fall under a "rule" we have set. Do you make allowances for childishness at all? For instance, my "command" tonight was to be careful with the tea. Although it is understood...no seconds on drinks until the food is gone...it has never been stated as a rule. Therefore, when Joey tried to pour his second cup of tea...since it was not a rule, and I had not said anything about "refills" on drinks (at this meal)....was he disobeying and being sneaky....???? Or was he simply thirsty, and wasn't really thinking about anything other than, "hmmm that tea was tasty, I think I'll have some more!" Sometimes it is so hard to decipher....

And also....would I had been as frustrated by the whole incident had I not just shampooed the carpet? Was I annoyed because he poured more tea out of a full pitcher....or because he had soiled my newly cleaned carpet?

Not many people read my blog, and those who do...I highly look up to. So what would you have done?

Daddy...

Father's day for me through the years was always a time I would make my Mom laugh. I would call her on Father's day and give her a homemade card...she was a single Mom most of my growing up years. I never had a dad in my home as a girl. These are simply my memories of what it was like. I now know, there are many Dad's who do not meet my descriptions below...again, this was what I really thought growing up.

As I thought about Father's Day this year...I thought of how good God has been to give me my husband. I wrote him this letter, and he told me..."You should share that"...so here it is, straight from my heart to my husband.


Father to me...

As a girl, when I thought of the word Father, it was mysterious. Cloudy visions of the man I knew as Father, faded quickly as time passed. Before too long, there was no face at all. I wondered at times, what he was like. Was he funny? Quick tempered? Pleasant? Did he like to have fun or was he quiet? Some of these questions, I still don't know the answer to. I learned the word Father...was not needed in our home. Nor did he need me. I was unwanted.

As a teenager, the word Father took on another meaning. I watched fathers around me. I learned that fathers care in their own way. I learned that fathers are sometimes distant...and seemingly do not want to be bothered. Some are easily disappointed in those around him, if things were not done their way. So as a teenager I learned the word Father...was distant, did not want to be bothered, and was easily disappointed.

As an adult, I have learned of a Father. He loves me when I am unlovable. He cares for me at all times. He always believes in me, and never gives up for HE loves me...I am His own. He wants my fellowship and attention. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is not distant, but close by in every time of need I may have. He loves for me to call out to Him and cry on His shoulder. He loves me.

I learned all of this from you. You have shown me, sometimes by your words...what my Father is really like. You have helped me to see, by your actions...that a Father never gives up on his children, but always believes there is a way, always hopes. You taught me my Father wants to hear from me...me. He is not distant...but close by. You have shown me what a Father should be. You have helped me see what I missed out on all of those years. You have been Christ to me. Thank you for being a Father...to your wife. I used to feel like I really missed out. What type of person would I be today, if I had grown up with a loving Father? I watch you now and I love to just sit by and see you love on Ellie. It warms MY heart to see you hold her and kiss her...as if by some odd way, that little girl within me is vicariously receiving the love she never had, by watching you love our daughter. Maybe it is strange for me to feel this way. I just love it though. It brings tears to my eyes...as I remember all of the times I felt unloved and unwanted. Now, I have a little girl, who will never feel that way. For she has a godly father. I'm so glad it is you. I love you so much. I am so thankful God brought us together.

The dropped Wafer

Today was the Lord's supper at our church. It is a very quiet introspective time. We have taught our oldest three boys about the Lord's supper, what it means, what we should meditate on and when. They all know about the Lord's broken body...why He was broken. We've taught them to bow their heads after they receive the wafer and to pray and thank the Lord for giving His body as a sacrifice for our sin.

They all know it is a quiet time, no talking at all. It is a time for only praying and thinking about all that Jesus Christ has done for us. Nothing else.

This morning I was sitting quietly with my oldest son Derek. The plate was passed. I closed my eyes. I heard something drop. When I opened my eyes to see what it was, Derek had dropped his wafer. I closed my eyes again...then I heard Derek whispering...

"Mom...Mom....I dropped JESUS!!"

I almost started laughing hysterically right then and there! I just looked at him, and said,"It's ok, shhhhhhhh."

Then he started snorting because he was trying not to laugh. Then he whispered again...

"But Mom...(snort) I dropped Jesus!!"

It was hard to not snort with him...I was trying so hard to just remain calm, and calm him down...but the more he whispered frantically...the funnier it seemed to me! I don't think he was even trying to be funny. He just didn't know what to do when he dropped the wafer...and I don't think he thought I understood exactly what had happened. Hopefully we didn't disturb too many people around us... (Jennie, your parents were sitting in the row behind us)

Cheerful Endurance

This morning I decided to read some specific verses pertaining to loving people. I pulled up e'sword and looked at nearly every word in each verse in the Greek. I have always thought of patience as "enduring difficult times"...being a "good" soldier. Today I was surprised to find out that sometimes when the word patience is used...the Greek definition listed "cheerful endurance".

I will be very open with everyone, (including myself) I have one child that is more trying than the others. He is very determined...and will sometimes choose his own way knowing what the consequences will be. At times I feel like I am "enduring" raising him. I know he has strengths, and that the Lord has a plan for his determination...but as a child, he is just very difficult to rear.

I was also reading ICorinthians 13 along with the other verses. I had read these many, many times. I have been taught these verses and their meaning many times as well. I noticed the words "long-suffering" and "patience".

I know I am not a cheerful endurer. I am not patient with others shortcomings. If something is wrong, and it is pointed out...make it right...period. Plain and simple. I should realize however, that "making things right" does not always come easy. Not for an adult or a child. The flesh is real and strong...people, including my children, have battles to fight that I cannot fight for them. They must choose to do right.

My heart was convicted realizing that I may be one person who will "cheerfully endure" my childrens shortcomings. I need to believe in them, in their weaknesses. I need to not give up on them...when they purposefully disobey time and time again. It grieves me so...and all I want is for them to just do right. When they choose to do wrong...I am not patient as I should be. If I am not patient with them, who will be? Where will they "feel" loved unconditionally...if not from their own mother.

May the Lord help me, to grow. He has "pointed" this out to me, and I want to make it right...plain and simple.