Father's day for me through the years was always a time I would make my Mom laugh. I would call her on Father's day and give her a homemade card...she was a single Mom most of my growing up years. I never had a dad in my home as a girl. These are simply my memories of what it was like. I now know, there are many Dad's who do not meet my descriptions below...again, this was what I really thought growing up.
As I thought about Father's Day this year...I thought of how good God has been to give me my husband. I wrote him this letter, and he told me..."You should share that"...so here it is, straight from my heart to my husband.
Father to me...
As a girl, when I thought of the word Father, it was mysterious. Cloudy visions of the man I knew as Father, faded quickly as time passed. Before too long, there was no face at all. I wondered at times, what he was like. Was he funny? Quick tempered? Pleasant? Did he like to have fun or was he quiet? Some of these questions, I still don't know the answer to. I learned the word Father...was not needed in our home. Nor did he need me. I was unwanted.
As a teenager, the word Father took on another meaning. I watched fathers around me. I learned that fathers care in their own way. I learned that fathers are sometimes distant...and seemingly do not want to be bothered. Some are easily disappointed in those around him, if things were not done their way. So as a teenager I learned the word Father...was distant, did not want to be bothered, and was easily disappointed.
As an adult, I have learned of a Father. He loves me when I am unlovable. He cares for me at all times. He always believes in me, and never gives up for HE loves me...I am His own. He wants my fellowship and attention. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is not distant, but close by in every time of need I may have. He loves for me to call out to Him and cry on His shoulder. He loves me.
I learned all of this from you. You have shown me, sometimes by your words...what my Father is really like. You have helped me to see, by your actions...that a Father never gives up on his children, but always believes there is a way, always hopes. You taught me my Father wants to hear from me...me. He is not distant...but close by. You have shown me what a Father should be. You have helped me see what I missed out on all of those years. You have been Christ to me. Thank you for being a Father...to your wife. I used to feel like I really missed out. What type of person would I be today, if I had grown up with a loving Father? I watch you now and I love to just sit by and see you love on Ellie. It warms MY heart to see you hold her and kiss her...as if by some odd way, that little girl within me is vicariously receiving the love she never had, by watching you love our daughter. Maybe it is strange for me to feel this way. I just love it though. It brings tears to my eyes...as I remember all of the times I felt unloved and unwanted. Now, I have a little girl, who will never feel that way. For she has a godly father. I'm so glad it is you. I love you so much. I am so thankful God brought us together.