A thousand words...and then some...: Assignment #10 - Discovery

A thousand words...and then some...: Assignment #10 - Discovery

Thoughts on Discovery

This latest writing assignment from:http://athousandwordsandthensome.blogspot.com/
has been on the word "Discovery".

I have thought this over in several different ways. The discoveries of children through life. The enjoyment that comes simply watching a child discover something for the first time. I read Kayte's blog and pondered the discovery of God's love for me, how it all came about in my life. I've thought about it while driving to the grocery store... and wondered at the vastness of the word discovery. Today, I came to the conclusion to write about the discovery of myself and who I am.

As a child, I was always looking for acceptance. The things I did or did not do, was determined by what the adults in my life would think of me. As a teenager, some of the same thinking played into my actions. In college, my thoughts turned more toward how I could please God with my life. I wanted to be all I could for the Lord. In my twenties, as a young adult, I lived in a bubble, trying desperately to be that "person" of perfection who had it all together, (whatever "it" was) striving to be who I thought I was supposed to be. As a young married woman...I aimed to be exactly the kind of wife I thought my husband needed. With motherhood, my goals did not change, they were just redirected at someone else, my children. I wanted to be EVERYTHING I thought they needed.

While these goals are all noble and good, while striving to be everything I thought everyone else needed, I lost touch with WHO I really was!

I have discovered in the past 10 years of parenting, the past 12 years of marriage many things...about me.

I have discovered:

I am not perfect. Nor is anyone else on this earth. I cannot be perfect, God made me with strengths and weaknesses. Although I will be working on those weaknesses for the rest of my life and some will become strengths...I will then discover other weaknesses...and thus life will go.

I have discovered:

God created me for my husband. Though many times in my mind I have envisioned the type of woman that would be best for my husband...and tried desperately to become that woman...the truth is my weaknesses, and his strengths seem to fit like a puzzle, we compliment one another. We are a team. If I try to "be" like the woman in my mind...I lose touch with who I am, and forget all that I do have to offer to my marriage.

I have discovered:

God has blessed me with children, because He believes I am the best mother for them. Again, though I do have weaknesses that are constantly being worked on...God gave me these children. He believes in me. Even though I may sometimes feel inadequate for the job, or it seems like I am a failure in some way or another, I have discovered I have what it takes to rear these children, or God would not have given them to me.

I have discovered:

Who I am is ok with God. I do not have to strive to be someone else, whether a real person or made up in my mind. Do not misunderstand me, I do think we should always try to be better in our lives in different areas. I also believe that who I am, my strenths, my weaknesses, my quirks, my irritations, the things that I love and dream about...they all make me who I am...and that is what God loves about me. If I live my life pretending to be something I am not, I miss out on feeling the love of God for who I am. I have discovered...me.