It seems this week has been a very trying week for us. Each day has brought unusual challenges and unexpected tears. It is times like these when the Lord seems closer than usual, and although I cannot feel his arms ever near me, I do sense His presence and comfort. I have learned in my life, that in most situations, it is better to keep your mouth closed, until your thoughts are in order with the word of God. Until that point, anything you say is tainted with the flesh. Sad to say, this practice has not been perfected in me, though I strive for it. It is always nice to have someone to talk things over with when you are hurting. Someone who will not judge or interrupt. A listener.
There are times while praying, that my heart is so heavy, I really do not know what to say. I just want to be in the Lord's presence. And somehow, just bowing on my knees and closing my eyes...I receive comfort. There was a time in my life, when I thought if I had nothing to say, then why would I pray? I know that prayer is asking, but sometimes the soul needs comfort, and there are no words to relay the need...but God knows.
I have been longing for something, yet didn't know what it was. Yesterday, while watching my children play outside, little Nathan ran up to me. "Mom, you beautiful!" he shouted, hugged me, then ran away. Later, David, all covered in dirt, ran up to me to share some exciting adventure...I hugged him tightly while he chattered on and on, then he too ran off. I feel like I had been receiving comfort in my heart from the Lord, but I needed something with skin on, a person.
I teared up thinking how good God has been to me to give me these 5 wonderful children and a loving husband. Through difficult days, they are here for me. Each hug and "I love you" just comforted me, and warmed my heart. I know that they need me, but this week I needed them. God has loved me, through my children.